Ash is back
by Will R. Webb
Summary: What if Ash had to go back to medevil times becuase of his faul up well find out in this story. WARNING: This is in the making. Please for the love of God Read and Reaview.
1.

Ash Is Back  
  
Note: Through out the whole searies of this fan fic you must forget the ending of army of darkness just to a pint that Ash came back and is in the S-Mart.  
  
Chapter 1: Attention S-Mart shoppers but one of our Employees has to kill a zombie  
  
Six months have gone by since all of Ash's life turned back to normal by coming back home but now he regrets his postion on earth. Ash is cleaning the floor when his boss comes up to him. "Ash Williams what the fuck are you doing?!" "Boss i'm just cleaning up a mess." "But Ash your in the sports department becuase I put you there becuase you know?" After Ash's boss says this "I know my hand is cut off." "Why do you have to clean it up?" " 'Cuase boss I really don't like the stares I get when i'm selling a stuff." "Ash that dosen't mean you have to be a janitor." "Yeah...what the..." When Ash says this he sees a large zombie real fat guy.  
  
"Boss I gotta do something." Ash goes over to his employee locker and takes out his stuff (the speacial chain saw, his belts with the hook, his gun and his mechanicail hand) and put it on. Ash then goes out at the fat zombie and says: "Take this big boy." And then Ash shoots the zombie right between the eyes. "I geuss that did nothing." And so Ash takes out his chain saw ataches it to his hand and starts cutting the zombie. The blood from the zombie squirts every were till Ash cuts body part by body part off till the zombie stops moving.  
  
Then Ash sees a image of the wizzard (in army of darkness), then the wizzard says: "Warrior from the future why has this happened" "Hey its not my fault!" "Did you say the words right?" "Yes." "Did you pronouce it right?" "Well not every sylabole" "Warrior you have re-opened the gate of the dead if you do not help us not only shall the people of my time be plagued but of your's as well." "Ah shit, well if you put that way I have no choice. What do I do?" "Go through the portal." Ash gets on a motorcycle that is on display for a contest. "Ash if you come back i'll kick your ass." "Well I guess i'll never come back 'cuase you can't." With Ash saying this he takes the keys out of his boss's coat turns on the motorcycle and rides it into the gate way.  
  
Ash gets out of the portal in to the medevil times in which everything is dark and taken over by the dead army. "Oh fucking shit." 


	2. 

Ash is back  
  
Chapter 2: The darkness comes for Ash  
  
Ash just stands in awe at what has become the land he ounce protected. "Man I have to learn memorize better." Then a zombie with red eyes, molting skin and a viking helmet. "You must be Ash." "Yep ugly now that you have seen me go tell your master." "No i'm gonna fight YOU!" The zombie goes head forward and hits Ash off his motorcycle, the fight goes on but then the zombie rips out Ash's chain saw off they start punching away at each other. Then Ash has the obility to reach fo his gun and shoot.  
  
The zombie has fallen on the floor but Ash knows that it is not dead yet. So Ash goes back to his chain saw out and and starts to cut the zombie when he can't see the zombie. "Lokking for me?" As the zombie says this he pokes Ash's eyes from the back while Ash screams in agony. "You fucking PRICK!" Screams Ash as he jabs the zombie in the nuts while he guts out of the zombie's clutches.  
Then Ash goes straight for the zombie's neck and cuts it off with his chain saw.  
  
Ash takes a break for a while till three skeleton zombies apear. "Danm this is not my day." As Ash says this he gets into attack mode starts cuting the skeleton zombies out like a lunatic. "Fuck you all!" Screams Ash till he sees a huge musclure zombie coming right at hi with a sword. "You must be there superoir right?" As Ash says this he gets a reply from the zombie, which is: "Roaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar!" "So your just a soldier riiiiiiiiight."  
  
Then Ash starts to cut up the zombie but his chain saw breaks. "This is bad." Right then a young man apears and throughs a sword at the zombie, which cuts off its head and falls to the ground. After this Ash goes up to the youth. "Who are you?" "It depands are you the warroir know as Ash?" "Yes." "Well i'm your son." Ash faints.  
  
When Ash wakes up he sees the boy. "Kid how can you be my son?" "You had intercorse with my mother sixteen years ago when you came to fight the evil that plagued the village." "Whats your mother's name?" "Sheila and becuase of you my mother was killed in my village for giving away her virginity." "I knew I shouldn't have had sex with her before I left but no Mr.Dick had to be happy first. Wait how come they didn't kill you?" "Becuase I am your son." "Good point well lets go back to your village or what ever so I can understand whats happening. By the way whats you name?" "Ash." "Well so nobody gets confused you and others shall call me Big Ash." "Allright" "Oh by the way how old are you?" "Sixteen." "That makes sense." And so they go off with Big Ash going in his motor cycle and Ash. 


	3. Dragons and Deadites

Ash is back  
  
Chapter 3: Dragons and Deadites   
  
Big Ash with Ash (his son) go off to the village there (Big) Ash sees all the hope gone in a tiny wimper all becuase he couldn't pronouce a spell right. "Man this is all my fault." "Father we shall go see the wizzard." "Of Oz?" "I do not know such a wizzard but this is the one that helped you." "Of coarse, lets see him." They get in to were the wizzard is. "Hello sir." Says the wizzard in which (Big) Ash replys: "Hey hows it going." Total silience. "You know what is going on?" With (Big) Ash saying this the wizzard replys: "You give me a feeling in my head that. I am just mad becuase you are thy one how started this." "Oh please I I I am the cuase i'm sorry I was trying to cool things down." Silience again. "Maybe I should stop using slang. I don't use it any way." The people stare at (big) Ash. "Could you just tell me what to do!"  
  
The wizzard starts explaining that the Deadites' King lives in the manor of death and that the only way to survive it is to have a suit made of dragons skin. At this point Ash argues if there are dragons or not but then is told that if the Deadites are real so are the dragons. But first gets his chain saw re-done to were it is both fully functual and has these very sharp blades that could cut through any Deadite. And so (big) Ash goes alone (and becuase of this I shall call him just Ash) to the dragon's den which is a dragoon breeding ground with a small bugy on the end of Ash's motorcycle that is suppose to hold the dragon skin on the back.  
  
  
On his motorcycle with a small bugy atached to the back he gets to the Dragon's den. "This is some place. But whats that?" Ash gets up and looks around a large object till he notices its a Dragon turd. "Aw please I gotta get out of here." But then a dragon apears. Ash starts shooting it at the chest but it dosen't work. "Now how can I get this guy down I can get his hide, but how?" Then the dragon comes down in a swoop and Ash scrapes the side of the Dragon's wing. "Oh coarse." Then Ash shoots both of the dragon's wings, then the dragon falls down, Ash runs for a while till he is cornered by a rock the dragon's head almost colides with Ash's crouch. "That was close." With that said Ash cuts the dragon's head off, skins it and puts the skin on the bugy and starts going off till he sees 3 deadites with skin peeling off as well as other unpleasant features.  
  
"So you guys here to stop me?" Asks Ash to the 4 deadites but they are silient. But then one comes up and finnaly says: "You fight one of us each me to the others." "That seems fair. Wait is this a trick?" "Well your the good guy." They start going at it. First Ash cuts the Deadite's hand off, then the hand goes for Ash going into his clothes. "Darn hand get out!" Finaly the hand gets to the end of the sleeve on Ash's right arm and cut the deadite's hand to peices and then takes his gun out to shoot the deadite. "Good evil i'm the guy with the gun." When Ash says this the deadite jumps up and punches Ash down withhis hand that he has takes Ash'e gun then destroys it.  
  
"Seems like one to just kill the famous Deadite killer." As the deadite says this Ash takes up and starting from the deadites crouch cuts him in half. "Now who wants some." Both come at Ash at the same time. "Yep don't trust a deadite." As Ash says this he starts butchering the two deadites till one of there heads falls down and Ash stomps an it while saying: "Groovy."   
Ash then buiries the deadites bodies and goes off back to the village 


End file.
